Love And Lust Part 1

"I shouldn't be here." Even as Lisa said this to herself, her legs moved forward steadily. She had no control over them, their determined strides contrasted with her quivering heart. She got to the gate and knocked. 'Leave! Leave now. It's not too late to back out' a small voice whispered in her ears. She turned slightly to leave, then the gate opened. She smiled tentatively at the security and walked into the elegant duplex. The evening breeze ruffled her hair, sending it flying in several directions. Harmattan season was near. She patted the hair, walked hurriedly to the door and rang the doorbell. Her heart was now beating loudly. 'You can still leave. If that door opens, there is no going back.' the small voice whispered again. She glanced back at the security who sat in a plastic chair, whistling an old tune. Then the door opened.

The bright smile that greeted her was reassuring. Her mind steadied. She smiled back and entered. Everything would be alright. Nobody would find out.

The living room was beautifully painted in shades of red, yellow and orange. The sofa was a soft cushion in a lovely shade of brown, an exquisite glass table sat on a soft orange centre rug. The effect was relaxing. She sat down as he went to get some drink for her. She shouldn't have come here but suddenly, all her defences fled. While she was here, she would be bold enough to do everything she had been fantasising for weeks now. Abiye came back with a glass and a pack of Chivita juice on a silver tray.
She smiled at him. He smiled back and poured the juice for her. Awkward silence. She shifted closer to him till their thighs touched. She saw his Adams apple bob up and down. She smiled. She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed lightly. He remained still. She could see his chest pounding away. She put her hand on his chin and lightly pushed his face to hers. Then she kissed him.

She woke up with a start the next morning. The sun was almost up. She hurriedly showered and began dressing. She found her shirt behind the chair and put it on. She went to the mirror and combed her hair slowly, her mind reliving the past moments. Abiye was sleeping soundly, his body relaxed and his mouth hanging open. She felt nauseated and went to throw up. She flushed, hoping the sound wouldn't wake Abiye. She grabbed her bag and was about leaving when his voice stopped her.
"Where are you going?"
She paused. "Home."
"Will I see you this evening?" He turned to look at her.
"No." She still faced the door.
"Why?"
She didn't answer. She opened the door and walked out into the morning sun. She hailed a cab and went home.

Home was a one bedroom apartment she shared with Amaka, or Doris as she preferred to be called. Doris was still sleeping. She dropped her bag on the bed and changed into a comfortable short and an old tank top. Her eyes fell on the dresser. Her engagement ring lay there, the diamond glittered in the early morning sun. She checked her phone. Desmond had called severally. The nausea came again.

That evening as she walked into church in black trousers and a pink shirt, the ushering uniform for the evening, she felt sure that everyone would know what she had been up to. Everything seemed normal. No accusing finger pointed at her, no one noticed how black her soul had become. She felt stained and dirty, her skin still crawled. She greeted Gilbert and Judith in her department and took a stand behind the first row. Desmond was already in church, seated at the front row as all the pastors did.

Thirty minutes into the service, Abiye walked in. Her body knew the moment he walked in even before she saw him. He walked past her, his familiar scent followed closely. She closed her eyes and saw him as he had been last night. She quickly opened them and looked straight at him. He gave her a look filled with hidden messages, glanced down at the engagement ring on her finger, then he sat down. Her body started to shake. The nausea came again. She swallowed and bit her tongue sharply. Different scenarios ran through her mind till the service ended.
As people poured out of the building, she went to the back seat where she had kept her bag and sat down heavily, taking deep breaths. Then a hand touched her shoulder. She looked up. Desmond. She smiled at him. He didn't smile back.
"Where were you last night? I called several times. You didn't pick." He sat down next to her.
"Am sorry. I forgot my phone in the parlour last night." She hoped he wouldn't see the weakness in her eyes.
He smiled and took her hand. "Are you okay?" He asked with a look of concern. "You seem a bit tense." He said, brushing the hair from her face with his hand.
"Am fine. I just need a good sleep tonight." She replied.
Somebody called out 'pastor Desmond' in the front row. He stood up. "Wait for me by the car. Am coming."

"Okay" she said but he had gone. She carried the bag and went outside, answering the greetings that came her way with a smile. She got to the car and leaned on it, hoping desperately that Abiye had left. She looked up and saw him coming. No such luck. He reached her and immediately took her hand, squeezing her ring so it bit into her skin.

"What are you doing?" she muttered through gritted teeth.
"Meet me at the back staircase right now." He left.

She looked around. Nobody seemed to notice. She walked slowly to the back staircase, hoping nobody would suspect anything. Abiye was leaning on the wall. He smiled when he saw her.

"What do you want Abiye?" she asked coldly.
He frowned. "Last night you were all over me. Now you're asking what I want?" He seemed perplexed.
She smiled bitterly. "Last night was a mistake."
He paused, then took a deep breath.
"If last night was a mistake, then we're going to make that mistake again and again. You think you can use me to slake your lustful desires then dump me? Think again."

He pulled her close roughly and kissed her. She struggled in his arms but it didn't last. Soon, she began kissing him back. She didn't know how long they stayed there. She would have continued if he hadn't pulled away.
"Now tell me last night was a mistake."
She didn't say a word.
"I'll see you tonight." he said.

A throat cleared behind them.

To be continued.